Minivan Mum

VOL 8. - I'M GOING OUT!

No, my husband does not babysit our children.

I am going to a show on Friday, with my girlfriends (other mothers of course). I’m pretty excited about it.

Excited about being in their company, excited about laughing at grown up words and jokes. I’m even more excited about
saying grown up words and jokes! Excited about a wine or two before and, dare I even dream, after the show.

I mean let’s not get too carried away. It’s all fun and games to have some laughs and wines until you wake up for
the 8am soccer game the next morning. Even if you can drown out the whistles and the nagging for some red frogs from
the other kids, even if you can soothe your belly with a BBQ bacon and egg roll, there is no guarantee you won’t get
mixed up and shout out: “NICE HEAD JOB!” instead of “NICE HEADER”. (I may or may not be sharing from experience here)
So we consume with care!

As I was talking with a co-worker about the upcoming show, she threw in one of the most pained and red flagged questions
of all “So is your husband BABYSITTING the kids?’

Oh. Sweet. Liquor.

NO! No, FunDaddy is not BABYSITTING his own children. I don’t intend to pay him. Not even going to order him a pizza or
wash the baby. They are his kids too.

And I’m not just asked in these instances. Sometimes, on the very, very, very rare occasion I may be at the supermarket
without ANY of our children and run into people we know, it’s always met with a concerning “Where are the kids?!”

In my mind I think, hmm look yes, I see why you may be confused. I am ALWAYS with one, two, three or all four of our
children but do you need to ask WHERE they are? Like I may have forgotten them? Left them in the minivan? Sure,
I cracked a window and threw them some Burger Rings but I better hurry because the iPad was only charged at 12%!

Sometimes I throw in a “Oh yes, I have left them with this man; he is very nice and the kids are quite fond of them,
they call him Dad!” and an eye roll for good measure to which they usually laugh and say ha, right of course. Duh!

In light of all of this I think I might throw in that sneaky drink after the show. Even make a toast including
some expletive, just because I can.

The headache and inappropriate comments at soccer can be Saturday Minivan Mum’s problem. Friday night’s
Minivan Mum is going to enjoy every sip. Cheers!

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